Conservatives are very accustomed to seeing flip-floppers in the public square. Flip-flopping is like a full-time sport for a lot of elected officials on both sides of the aisle. John Kerry voted for the Iraq War before he voted against it. Kristi Noem was for banning the chemical castration of children in her state, before she was against it. Biden was against Trump’s wall, but now admits he’s going to restart construction. And so on. But what in the world is with this Dr. Anthony Fauci guy?
On April 6th, Fauci appeared on that Morning Joe show on MSNBC that none of us ever watch. And he made an amazing announcement! There will be no “fourth wave” of the deadly COVID pandemic of doom. It’s pretty much all over. We now have so many Americans vaccinated (thanks to the miracle Trump vaccine) that we’re basically over the hump. Life can start getting back to normal.
Fauci was asked specifically by one of the super-smarties on Morning Joe whether Americans should hide in their houses and put on… oh, who knows? Ten, maybe fifteen masks? Will the Double Mutant COVID strain found in one immigrant from India in San Francisco spell doom for everyone unless we lock down right now and lock down hard? Is it curtains for humanity?!
Maybe he was off his meds or something, but an uncharacteristically calm Dr. Fauci replied:
“As long as we keep vaccinating people efficiently and effectively, I don’t think that’s gonna happen… I think the vaccine is gonna prevent that from happening.”
Wow! That’s some really great news from Doctor Double-Mask!
Anthony Fauci doesn’t seem to be a very busy man. He’s never been offered a television spot that he could say “No” to. So, it’s not very surprising that exactly one day later, on April 7th, Fauci appeared on CNN.
The renowned Dr. Fauci then proceeded to tell Anderson Cooper the exact opposite of what he had told Morning Joe the day before. Oh, yeah!
The Dean Wormer of epidemiologists says that Americans will now have to go on Double Secret COVID Probation, because we’ve all been so naughty. The vengeful, flip-flopping little gnome even singled out a specific target to blame for the suddenly one-day-later skyrocketing Fourth Wave of Death coronavirus cases in the US: He blamed your kids.
According to Dr. Anthony Fauci, day care centers and school sports events are driving the “surge” in new COVID cases. In other words, the new double mutant surge (in one person) is spreading across the country like wildfire because a handful of red states have reopened schools for in-person learning and day cares. It’s the kids’ fault. If only you naughty Americans had listened to the NEA and let the teachers stay home while collecting paychecks!
CNN ended the segment with Fauci by reassuring everyone that the 11 people who got violently ill at one vaccination center in Colorado on Wednesday, and had to be rushed to the hospital, is no big deal. But the virus is a really big deal and so it’s obviously time for another Lockdown in the USA sequel.
Which one is it, Fauci?
Are we pretty much out of the woods as you said on Tuesday? Or, is America rushing headlong into a fourth wave of Double Mutant COVID that is “believed to be more deadly” as you said on Wednesday? (Even though the Double Mutant version has only been found in one person. Maybe.)
By the way Fauci, do the current coronavirus vaccines actually do anything to protect against the alleged Double Mutant coronavirus? I’m guessing your answer will be “No” and – wait, don’t tell me – we’ll have to lock down until a NEW vaccine is developed for the Double Mutant COVID, right?
I’m sure your buddy in the basement will get right on developing that vaccine with Operation Wheelchair Speed. Speaking of Sleepy Joe, maybe it’s time for Dr. Fauci to go hang out with his buddy in the basement watching re-runs of Matlock. They’ve got a lot in common. Neither one of them can remember what he just said a few minutes ago.